July 9, 2023
This is me. I took this picture on Mother’s Day before church service at my mother’s house. Honestly, I was shocked and surprised that my uterus is this big. Doctors have told me that my uterus is the size of a past due 10-month pregnancy. Looking down at my stomach does not show the true picture of the severity of my situation.
I took this picture because I liked the dress and the way it fit and it really is a pretty dress, but my goodness, my midsection is front and center. I usually try to hide my midsection with wearing sweaters and jackets, but after seeing this picture, I realize that there is nothing that can be hidden.
Over the past year and half, I have been on a weight loss journey, and I have managed to lose 100 lbs. through diet and exercise, However, I have gained about 20 lbs back because this growing fibroid makes me tired, hungry, and unmotivated. My workouts are not the same anymore because I do not have the stamina that I once had. My organs are displaced and other organs are being impended upon. No wonder, my workouts have stalled, and I have gained weight. I should be 150 lbs. by now but having this tumor makes it difficult for me to workout like I should.
I eat healthy foods, I exercise, I follow intermittent fasting, and I take supplements. It is beyond me as the reasoning that I am struggling with weight loss. These uterine fibroids are the major impediment to all of the goals that I have in my life. My weight loss dreams are shot because of these tumors, my fertility dreams are on the chopping block because of these tumors, and my body is bent out of shape because of these fibroids.
There are people who will come up to me and ask, “when are you due?” or “you look like you’re having a boy?”. Sometimes, I get embarrassed by these questions. I would love nothing more to be pregnant and to raise a family of my own.
I am trying my level best to endure this time of trials and tribulations. It seems as if there have been more setbacks than successes. I have been to doctors and have gotten multiple second opinions and I recently drove over 8 hours from my home to get a surgery that did not happen because the doctor did not realize just how big my fibroids are.
So here I am. I have been struggling with uterine fibroids for over 15 years and I am afraid that I have reached the end of the line. I have atypical hyperplasia, my fibroids are causing urine to back up in my kidneys, and all the doctors are salivating to give me a hysterectomy.
I am still hopeful that everything will work out and I will have the family that I long to have.
